Monday, July 5, 2010

Anatomy of a Sleepless Night

Close book, set the alarm, turn off the reading lights.  Get comfortable, prepare to drift off.

Realize it’s been more than a while and I have not drifted off yet.  Swear I’m not going to check the clock but I do.  It’s been 45 minutes.

Get up and pee. Careful not to turn any lights on so as not to send wakeful cues to my brain, per books and articles I’ve been reading on insomnia and need for good “sleep hygiene.”

Lie back down. Sure I’ll go to sleep now. 

Trying to remember the name of fabric store my mom used to take me to why I was in elementary school.  Wonder if my heavy emphasis on old memories these days isn’t healthy, if I need to make some new ones.  Think about how to do that.

Mind jumps to how much season premiere of “Rescue Me” sucked on TV last night.

Intermittently worry about the implications of not getting enough sleep tonight.

Consider turning the alarm off now and skipping water yoga in the morning, but it’s the last class till late summer. Stay strong, keep hands off the alarm.

Alternatively consider telling friend I’m too tired to go to outdoor concert and dinner the next day but afraid of becoming an unreliable friend.  So scratch that.

Suddenly realize I must try and get an old friend from high school onto Facebook. He’s on Classmates and I can always email him through that, but that’s so static...

Ponder how Classmates ever stays alive in the marketplace.

First click on the light thinking I’ll read for a while, then instead get up and work in my home office for about 40 minutes.  After sending off a number of broadcast emails realize 3 a.m. may not be my finest hour for carefully crafted prose sensitive to client needs, or mindful of not offending boss.  Prepare to deal with possible fallout the next day.

Stop in bathroom to pee again before rolling back into bed.

Think of future blog topics, then worry if I don’t write them down I’ll forget them. (Of course I will. I just remembered something I started to make a note to myself about four hours ago, and between the time I thought of it and moments later when I pulled pen and paper out, forgot.) But don’t want to turn on light so make a few notes in the dark, hopeful they’ll be legible in the morning.

Run through mental to-do list for next couple of work days.

Think about where I’d like to have dinner with a friend over the weekend.

Wonder if I feel like braving the crowds later in the week at the new location for fireworks. Hate new location, miss being able to watch them from across the lake in my own neighborhood.  Worry about my increasing hermit tendencies and I do so love fireworks and have missed for several years now.  

Wonder how many actual hermits there are in the world.  Mind wanders to caves in the forest of unspecified Asian country where I imagine long-bearded men and old crones who only come out to make sage pronouncements. 

Idly wonder how I will ever get a book proposal done if I spend my free time and creative energy blogging instead, but feel I am forced to blog by today’s marketplace and agent expectations.

Think about how to make my blog posts shorter, but if I do it’ll take longer to do my notification emails than the blog itself. Decide to get up and check on how FeedBlitz or other service can help me get rid of need to manually do the notifications.   Pull foot back in bed before it hits the floor, sure that going back on computer at 4 a.m. will not aid sleep efforts.

Remember and write down in dark reminder about a thank you note I need to write and gift certificate I have to buy to enclose.  Wonder what recipient’s favorite restaurant is.

Consider getting up to pee again but realize I really don’t need to, I’m just bored.

Alarm goes off.  Summon all my willpower and do not hit snooze alarm.  Resolve to try and go to bed early tonight.  Hah, like that’ll happen.

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